Extrapolations of possible truths

Yes, I'll admit... I'm a twit!

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:23:26 GMT

Haven't had time for myspace or LJ lately. My unrestricted online hours are minimal, I work long days and need my rest, so my posts must be cheap, quick and streamlined. Therefore, I am falling blindly via SMS into twitterness. (Besides, can you possibly think of a more optimal venue for one who was once named the "queen of nonsequitors")?

I'm actually going to be transferring my phone account to a mobile carrier that lets me post via short code so that I actually can post during the work-week. If LJ and Myspace allow short code posting, then I'll be around. Otherwise, you shall see faint glimmers of me here and there... in a sollow, sad, rebroadcast format.

Here's what you missed this week on twitter and facebook....

Pondering @ moderately popular colloquialisms: 1. Does your drawer even have a knife? 2. What box? 3. My that horse has some shiny teeth!

I noticed everyone on the bus tries very hard not to look at each other. Social experiment time: Introduce mimes!

"I drove this road before," he says. "There are always a lot of cops on it. Both ways!" HA! He just said the cops go both ways!

LOL@ "There's no time like the present' - (Posted 9 hours ago!)

TODD:: When someone says: "You can't get blood from a stone" - Simply reply: "Yes, you can if you add enough heat. Its called plasma!"

And as if to prove my sincerity, my very first tweet was:
'Epic fail @ hiding from the redundancy of having over 5 blogs!'

So there you go. If you want the up to the minute dish, twitter.com/pookahchu

enjoy!

The Steelers Experience

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 03:39:12 GMT

Boy I am getting old and frail.

I walked down the 201 stairs, went to the tax office to pay my taxes, they don't know what I owe, they asked me to come back on Monday. Since I work, I have to send the HB back on Monday.

Went to purchase my bus pass. The newstand only takes cash. *grumble*

Finished all that and got on the bus at 11:09 am, got downtown at 12:15, late.
Got on the second bus at 12:16, got to the rental car at 12:27.

Drove the rental car out, realized that there was no gas.
Realized that there was no gas card.
Drove frantically and blindly around town on E - looking for a gas station.

Called to report no gas, no gas card and all the damage on the car.
Filled her up (thankfully I will be reimbursed), and headed out.

Got to Steeler's training camp at 2:30. It was sweet darting out of the line, passing everyone by and zipping around to the VIP parking. Held up my passes and was waved right through with an "Oh Yeah, you're good!" Got all registered and up to the preamble at 2:50. Hospitality gave us a schedule, roster, coupons, beverages, and a free training camp hat. Walked down to the field. We got to be on the field, at the sidelines with the Steelers. One of the players walked out of the porto potty right next to us, and ran onto the field. I looked up his number. It was one of the "Need to know" guys, but for the life of me, I can't remember, ATM. As I would have remembered the rest, (*I've been studying really hard!*) it was either Jeff Reed, James Farrior, Casey Hampton, James Harrison, or Santonio Holmes.

Watched the Steelers play. Put on sunscreen, accidentally got sunscreen in my eye, and had a lovely burning sensation which is still with me even as I type this blog. (Yes, I know, I deserve it, for not knowing who that was.)

Eventually was led back to the VIP room for signings. As luck would have it, Charlie Batch was there... and YES, he did remember my Phantom of the Opera performance that won me the VIP tickets in the United Way talent show.

"Nice to meet you again, sir. I was the chick who won the Talent show."
"Yes, Phantom of the Opera!"
*Swoon!*

Charlie Batch signed my hat, & signed my football,
Some other guy, Travis Kirshke, signed my football and my towel.

We ate a wonderful dinner, courtesy of Steeler's hospitality, at the steelers VIP cookout, (*yes, I can has steelerscheezburger! and steelerscookiebrownie too!*)

and then we headed home.

I'm supposed to go shopping now.
I have a migrane from hell, and it feels like I have a fever.
*Currently downing a quart of water.*

Boy what a fun packed day! Too much fun for these old bones, I guess. Pain radiating everywhere. Fever of 102.5. Yay Heat Stroke.

We rented this car, and if I don't get shopping done tonight, I will have to run around tomorrow morning before church and do it. If I can....

I'm very grateful, Even though I'm hurting like hell now... it was so much fun, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Right now, I'm just trying to recover.

I can has steelerstrainingcampday!

Name That Tune #8 - The Swing of Things!

Fri, 01 May 2009 10:24:57 GMT

Can you name this song.... AND the weird al song that followed?

Name That Tune #7 - Pookah Happy Music!

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:26:29 GMT

Yes, I know. "Pookah Happy Music" is not an official genre anywhere except in my own little world, where the sky is fuchsia and "Yes Virginia, there IS cable." But since it's Thursday, we'll do a Pookah Happy Music tune that makes me totally want to bust out in a jig!

Happy Guessing!

P.S. I submitted #5 (Movies!) to "America's Got Talent" with Sharon Osbourne, over on MySpace! Wish me luck!

Name That Tune #6 - Country and/or Western

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 09:20:56 GMT

Can you guess the tune? Post your guesses down below.
Free bonus question within!

Progress, Finally!

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:53:37 GMT

I had my pain specialist appt today.
They sent me a form in the mail to complete in advance where I was to shade in areas where I had pain, and put xx's on each of the pain epicenters.

I did it. I did it in different colors, labeling each area with the trauma that caused it and the date of the injury.

The doctor took one look at all the pain, and my MRi's to back it up, and the first thing he did was the standard test to rule out fibromyalgia. (that's the first test any half-wit doctor will do when they come across a chronic pain patient with pain in all four quarters of their body.)

Fibro, thank god, was negative... but I have something that doctors could mistake as fibro. I have over 10 different injuries all connecting together causing widespread pain.
That's the story for now at least. At least until we can get more information.

He's sending me to an orthopedist for my knees and my carpal tunnel.
I'm going to be getting epidural steroid injections in my back (my first injection will be in 9 days), and if I so choose, I can see a physical therapist and a pain psychologist.

Yes, of course I so choose. You're darn tootin that YES I will go to a pain psychologist, if nothing else to try and start some damage control on what the long term effects of chronic pain has done to the bubble gum patched remains of my mental state.

I am a little nervous about getting injections in my back without getting updated MRIs of my back first. Who knows what it looks like now over six years after the last imaging? My pain is considerably worse in the last six years, maybe it's worth a second look? Perhaps I'll just call tomorrow and ask about that.

I know I'm not supposed to take any time off, but I've been dealing with most of this pain for over 8 years. Some of it even longer, and the worst of it for over 4 years.

I think my priorities are clear. Yes, doc. When do you need me?
I can try to make up the time, but finally getting OUT of pain, even if I lose this job in the process, is my top priority.

Name That Tune #5 - Movie Edition!

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 09:29:33 GMT

Here you go!
This will be just a bit painful for now, but think of where I'll be with about six month's practice? Turn down your volume and good luck!

Name That Tune #4!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:44:24 GMT

Who's PUNK enough to get this one?

Name That Tune #3!

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 12:31:55 GMT

Here's one from an old musical I remember from my childhood dayz....

Happy Guessing!

Name That Tune #2 - A Mash Up!

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 12:31:42 GMT

Here's me beep-bopping my own little mash up!
Can you guess both songs?

Name That Tune #1!

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 10:27:00 GMT

Here's me humming, doo wopping, or beep bopping a little tune.

It could be Jazz, Rock, Rap, opera, country... classic rock, metal, whatever.
You guess the tune!

YAY!

NAME THAT TUNE!

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:20:57 GMT

I'm going to be starting a 'name that tune' game.
As many days as I can, I'll take 15 minutes, and video and post me humming, doo wopping, or beep bopping a little tune. It could be Jazz, Rock, Rap, opera, country... classic rock, metal, whatever.

All music is welcome here.

You guess the tune!

YAY!

If I can get #1 converted before work tomorrow, the first tune should be posted in under 8 hours. If not, it will be posted by this time tomorrow night.

Enjoy!

Playing catch-up....

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:00:06 GMT

God! It's been a while since I've posted here on LJ, so let me backdate some entries and catch you all up!

Say no to cracks!
Could it be Satan?!?!
jentend ton coeur - (I hear your heart.)
One God; why?
What Box?
Shintoism Proven in the Women's Lavatory!
Zombie Wedding - The Vid! (friends only)
Chickin Kickin @ Zombie Wedding! (friends only)
Zombie Bliss! (friends only)
Bloody Valentine - The Music!

For those without health insurance...

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 17:20:01 GMT

This can be a tricky time for those without health insurance. Especially if you already have an underlying medical condition such as diabetes, HBP, or an injury that requires medical supplies or rehabilitation.

I'd like to see if we can all brainstorm ideas for getting by without health insurance. Please help me out by posting your experiences on http://fightrecession.forum5.com/viewtopic.php?t=32&mforum=fightrecession.

Some of my experiences include:

Asking doctors for a cash discount.
UPMC lab has been known to discount my husband's bill up to 80% because he doesn't have insurance.

Call United Way
United Way has a help line that will direct you to many different organizations that provide services, all you need to do is keep asking what is out there, and not give up hope.

Call Catholic Charities (or your local equivalent.)
Call churches. Most of them have office hours and can direct you to other churches which have programs set up to help. In our local area in Pittsburgh, Catholic Charities provides medical, dental and mental health services to those in need. Do not be afraid to check out the churches. Many churches give help to everyone without prejudice for their religious background.

Going to a free clinic.
When you can't find a doctor to treat you, get up early and go down to the county health department clinic. If you get there bright and early in the morning, chances are you will be seen -at a cost that is far better than an emergency room visit.

Applying for all financial assistance programs you can find.
After being rejected for medical assistance, and county aid, with proof of income I was able to qualify for UPMC Financial assistance, which gives treatment on a sliding scale, even up to 100% coverage. The trick is, when you get rejected for one, ask the paperwork person what else is available. These people work in the industry and will know about new programs before you do.

When all else fails, go to the hospital and ask to speak to a social worker.
There are social workers in hospitals who are trained to help you find the assistance and services you require. Also ask specifically about residency teaching programs where you may be able get the services you need at a discounted rate.

Asking doctors to write you a prescription on the discount generic list.
Most doctors have a list of what is on the discounted generic list at the local supermarkets and discount stores. But things change so quickly, some doctors can't be up to speed on all the new generics and the individual lists all the time, so see if you can get the printed list from the store, and bring it to the doctor's office with you. I had a personal experience where a doctor swore up and down that there wasn't a generic for a $400 prescription that I needed, until I showed him the list of $4 generic drugs from Walmart.

Asking doctors for sample prescriptions.
This is getting more difficult as pharmaceutical companies are cutting back, and more and more people are in need. Samples are getting harder to come by. In most clinics and hospitals they are trained to not give out samples unless a patient shows a definite need. If you can afford to pay $4-$9, try to see if you can get a generic that is on many store discount lists first.

ASK THE PHARMACIST!
This is soooo important. I cannot stress to you enough. The pharmacist is payed to keep up to date on all the new products, brands, and generics. Local pharmacists have been able to direct me to a blood glucose meter for $9, with refill strips for $9 a box, a blood pressure monitor for $19, and found me a $9 prescription for a $400 prescription for which my doctor swore there was not a generic equivelent.

Most importantly, do not give up. Keep plugging away until you find a way to get your needs met. You can quit a lot of things, but DON'T quit on yourself.

If any of you have more ideas, please post them below.

Good luck!

A pattern emerges...

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 04:14:35 GMT

We got home from Phx, we were sick, missed xmas. Worked through new years. This week he was off, I worked Sunday at the gym, worked around the house on Monday and went to a temp job on Tuesday.

Sunday I was sad, but bucked up and got back on track. Monday and Tuesday I was motivated and driven during the day, but in terrible pain at night. I think I was feeling the storm fronts rolling in. The last two days it's been switching back and forth from freezing rain, to rain, to light snow.

Wednesday (today) I was in pain for the whole day instead of just at night. I was motivated and pain free for about two or three hours in the evening, and am in pain again. It was a bath, chocolate, nap, caffiene, shower, chocolate, and bath again day. I got a load of dishes done, some computer work, and that's about it.

I could say it's the weather... but I know I might have overdone it on Monday working around the house. My bad... again.

I'm just trying to find that apex. The balance point, where I can work, and be productive, and not disable myself for the next two days.

Believe it or not....I'm getting closer.

******************************************************
*****Don't read below if you don't care about energy work stuff*****
******************************************************

Right before my 45 minute nap today, I did some healing work. I like to connect the mind, body, spirit together and try to find reasons other than the physical, (the herniated disks, excess weight, woman issues, diabetes, et al) for my continued pain. Because if it were just physical, I would have healed by now, eh?

So I did some light energy work, and some mental flossing and just got hit like a ton of bricks with a few life issues that I believe are spiritually connected to these problem areas. (Read some books by Louise Hay if you want more info on the relation of physical/ spiritual issues.)

I stumbled upon the idea that the woman area pain (which I can't schedule for a doctor's check till next month because they are all booked up and don't have their "next calendar" ready yet.) could be a nurturing others and neglecting self thing. (No brainer, that connection is well known and pretty well documented in the field.)

The low back, hip pain and ankle pain I sincerely believe is foundation work that I need to do, and growth and development of my own self. Then the third mental/spiritual issue tying the pain all together, running pain down my legs and building the bridge to connect everything, is related to my isolation and lack of fellowship with my peers. EG: I should be going out with friends more.

So there you go. I'm already working on the nurturing self stuff, and doing pretty well with it. I'm also working on the self-development, and scheduling more time for writing, art, etc.

So I guess what I need to do next is:
I need to plan a girls night or a Weatah event, eh?

I don't have time for that anymore... Or do I?

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:45:29 GMT

Last night and this morning, I've been in quite a bit of pain.... from my waist/lower back down, and the carpal tunnel. But enough about me....

There's someone that I work with, that I complain about frequently - (doesn't everyone.) (and yes, I left that open deliberately. Does everyone complain about him, or does everyone complain about someone they work with? You decide.)

Last year he was a complete and total mess. He was not on time for work a single day out of all the time we worked together. He'd come in in the foulest mood, go over to the other room and watch football on TV, leave the entire gym to me, and check in during commercials. I talked to him several times about how I didn't think what he was doing was fair to me, and he'd swear up and down things would be different next week. They never were.

Until I hear he got fired from his other job. It's almost as if this curse was a blessing. He is new and improved. Two weeks in a row he was in early, opened the gym, in good spirits, and actually beat me to most of the tasks that needed doing throughout the day. How long can he keep it up? I hope he can maintain this new attitude indefinitely!

Yesterday I had a small sad when I came in... of course I put on a cheery face at work, but when we were alone I explained that I had a sad earlier that day, and it wasn't until I struggled through, and met with his attitude that I started to feel better.

He replied to me, "I've decided I don't have time to feel down anymore. It's 2009, a new year, I don't have time for all that. I've only got time for the good now."

It has long been a theory of mine that happiness is nothing more than a state of mind. I say in my video blog, "If you are smart enough, or dumb enough, to convince yourself that you are happy, no matter the facts to the contrary, then you can be happy."

Tougher than it sounds sometimes, but I'm watching him do it.

'Course I don't know how he is when he is alone, (and of course I don't want to know. That is a whole 'nuther matter entirely.) And actual legitimate depression is a tough thing to battle.

Then there was that one paranormal state episode, and a church group that I fell in for a time with, that treated depression as an actual spirit or demonic influence. Well, hell... why not? No one really knows what depression is... if it works to think of it as an evil spirit influence and fight it that way, it might be just as effective as trial and error method of finding the right depression medicine, right?

Then there is always the distraction method. Or excercise, finding the right endorphine to counter the doldrums.

The point is... we DO have control... if we choose to take that responsibility. Either say, "I don't have time for that anymore... or else make the deliberate attempt to change it." The point is recongnizing and putting the brakes on. How long can we keep it up? I hope that any of us who chooses can keep it up indefinitely!

No, it's not always easy... but here's to the continued effort. Many happy returns blossoming from many more years of trial and error leading to trial and success.

Just the one, dear?

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:24:18 GMT

I have to pick ONE goal.

As gran said to Edina in Ab Fab: "Just the one, dear?"
She said this in response to Edina's determined proclamation that "Inside of me, there's a skinny person trying to get out!"

So, in picking one goal, I am determined to pick the one that is a short term goal, and uses all of the skills that I want to be using, all at once.

I pick "Witching Hour"
With this movie project I'll have to write, scriptwrite, edit, craft, prop, costume, make music, and make websites, and god only knows what else.

For myself, I also intend to get to the gym more, and take just one day a week to allow myself time for me to make one new painting, poem, song, parody, or article.

One can have other "things" that they get done while they're working on their goal, right?

I just have to remember to keep it all in check... and balance.

Zombie reschedule & people I might already know....

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 16:59:49 GMT

Myspace has this new, lovely, "people you might already know" section.

I like to call it, the feign reminder of those who were friends past. The salt in the heir of those who have unfriended you.

Let me just start by saying I don't think I've "unfriended" anyone. Well, any real anyone anyway, spammers are the exeption. It's my personal belief that you just can't turn on and off a friendship like a switch. I am willing to believe in the goodness of humanity and I am happy to have all the more reasons to see more good in more and more people.

Then myspace does what it does. It does a fairly good job of connecting us all, but as humans as we each get more connected we have this tendency to find more and more reasons to set ourselves apart. To differentiate, to discern and discriminate. We find more and more reasons to segregate and get upset with each other. As each face passes me by, I am reminded that most of these people have decided to unfriend me because of some stupid drama in my hb's vampire game. Because of other characters' actions in his game, they've decided to unfriend me. It makes me feel rather shit splattered, you know? I mean, what am I, guilty by proxy?

Again with the on and off switch. I have trouble with that on and off thing. I'd gladly acept any re-friend requests, but I'm not about to go figuring out who all unfriended me and go sending out new invitations hoping that people will change their mind. There is only one I requested to be friends again, and he accepted. I broke my own reasoning and sent him a friend request again because I heard he was supposed to be coming to the zombie wedding. I want anyone who thinks themselves a friend to be there. Call it selfish, but I would guess I wouldn't want any bitter ex-friends coming to my wedding just to cause drama.... lol!

Speaking of zombie wedding. It had to be postponed thanks to US Airways (read: "Useless Airways") cancelling our flight due to "maintenance issues" (read: "BROKEN PLANE!"). Now that we're back, we really need to reschedule that. I was thinking of groundhog's day... just to have a "things coming out of the ground" motif going on... but groundhog's day is a Monday. By the same token, and for the same reasons, president's day both would and wouldn't work either.

I have some requests to do it on a Thursday so that some of our regular vampire game attendees don't have to call off from work... but then I'd have to call off from work. Besides, I'd really like it to be on a Saturday so that my friends and family from Philly and Jersey, my family from connecticut, and other faraway places can make it. I'd like to give at least a month's notice.... that way people who got invitations late and couldn't make it due to holiday work schedules, might be able to travel out for our party this time. Also, I don't want to make it too far away so that it's a moot point and we're not even technically honeymooners anymore. Let's just say Easter (which with an equal dose of levity and blasphemy some people call zombie jesus day) would be right out.

So when then?

Let me see if we can figure it out tonight....

But can’t I do it all?

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 10:48:13 GMT

I'm up early... I can't decide if I should try and take the car into work, or leave it at the shop and take 4 hours of busses. Argh! I wish I knew!

So...
All that aside, I've been thinking about my current life-quandry.
Not many people in this world have such an incredible opportunity to change careers so many times and do so many things with their life.

There's an old TV series idea, the show was renamed and re-hashed several different times, about a guy who is a doctor one day, is a lawyer another day, and works in air traffic control the next. I think in the latest iteration it was called "the Professional." Of course when I think of "the Professional" I either think about a little girl moving from place to place carrying a fica plant, or I think about an animated bullet through the brain in slow motion as in Golgo 13.

But I digress. The simplification is thus:
I have an amazing opportunity to do many, many things with my life. I'm not saying I'm going to work as a doctor or a lawyer, (nor would I want to), but I could pick and choose nearly anything that requires under 2 years of training and "play" for a while.

I don't have to necessarily decide who I want to be, or what I want to do, inasmuch as I need to decide what I want to do, or who I want to be just for this year.

Now, what do I want to do for this year?
Let's make it easy. I'm already working at a gym, and I do need to get fit, for my health's sake. And I would like to earn just a little more money.

A serendippitous idea is on the way. I can feel it.

Silly Bishop - Tricks are for ids!

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 17:00:18 GMT

Here's the article I'm writing about:
Catholic bishops will fight Obama on - http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081112/ap_on_re_us/rel_catholic_bishops

'Bishop Joseph Martino of Scranton, Pa., singled out Vice President-elect Biden, a Catholic, Scranton native who supports abortion rights."I cannot have a vice president-elect coming to Scranton to say he's learned his values there when those values are utterly against the teachings of the Catholic Church," Martino said. The Obama-Biden press office did not immediately respond to a request for comment'

and

'Naumann has said repeatedly that Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, a Catholic Democrat who supports abortion rights, should stop taking Holy Communion until she changes her stance.'

OK. Just WOW.
Look your holy ignoramusi. For the last time.
Pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion.
God himself is pro-choice. He has given us the ability to choose right and wrong and what we will do. That's his master plan, remember?

Urgh. This dictation and the idea of regulation and enforcement of morality is so anti-Christian it really makes me wonder how we can consider ourselves civilized and intelligent beings.

Where's the love people? Take a closer look at what Jesus stood for. Who Jesus used to go to, who he used to speak to, and the people he used to comfort and forgive. These were sick, broken, and hurting people. Poor people, and even prostitutes. Do you think for one second that abortions and birth control didn't happen back in his time? Did Jesus run around condemning or did he spend more of his time providing, healing and forgiving?

Well, maybe someone gets it after all...
'"We must act and be perceived as acting as caring pastors and faithful teachers," said Bishop Blase Cupich of Rapid City, S.D.Dr. Patrick Whelan, a pediatrician and president of Catholic Democrats, said angry statements from church leaders were counterproductive and would only alienate Catholics. "We're calling on the bishops to move away from the more vicious language," Whelan said. He said the church needs to act "in a more creative, constructive way," to end abortion.'

Let's hope that he means to create more support for the needy, more alternatives, and more love... rather than more legislation, bad mouthing, ex-communication and strong-arming.

The luv -
Just liek teh bukkit.
Iz Missing.

Eleventy eleven. - About the forgotten vets right here at home.

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 13:44:49 GMT

Quick health update:
Weight: 208
Morning Glucose: 126
BP: 131/92
The numbers were better when I took the meds at night, but taking the meds at night is a little rough on my system. But hey, at least the weight is still going down. :)

Its veterans day everyone. Not the day when we remember the dead, but instead we remember the people who served who are still living, some of whom are still fighting. And by still fighting, I don't necessarily mean just those who are still fighting overseas. I would actually like to include those who are forgotten, right here at home. All you need to do is take a look at a percentage of the homeless population. Look closer at some of the people that pass through your local food bank, or even take a moment and visit the dreaded VA hospital. There are more veterans at home that need to be remembered than you could possibly imagine.

These are people with pride. People who fought for their country. People whom the very country they have served have forgotten them. Their benefits have run out, or expired. Some of them are injured. Some of them have trouble getting a job and functioning in the "normal world" because their brain has been re-routed for survival. Some of them, their training is moot in a mostly peaceful land. What about reeducation? Can they go back to school on the GI bill? Nope. That has expired too. With little prospect for employment, little things like housing, transportation, food and health care become unattainable luxuries.

Most of them have too much pride to go about begging for help. They may go to a doctor a few times, but if they're not getting the help they need, they don't want to waste their time, their money, and they don't want to be a burden. So they stand on their own, and just continue to survive.

A particular incident comes to mind about a vet I know who lost his leg at the hip. Without a car, he gets around ok from place to place; and without a job he does go to a food bank to get food. We were low on laundry detergent, so I found one to give him, and don't you know that another food bank patron took it right out of his cart while his back was turned!

He told me a story of how he was walking through his neighborhood, and because he walks funny, someone called the police on him. The police came about, and because he was sitting down to take care of his maladjusted mechanical leg, they tried to affront him. They told him to stand up. He tried as best he could... They asked him to walk over... he really couldn't. He needed to adjust his leg so that his jewels weren't getting caught in the mechanism.

He wasn't quick enough for the police, and he had the typical attitude of someone with a little pride who is just trying to get around, so they were a bit rough on him and broke a tendon in his wrist while trying to put handcuffs on him. Eventually, they let him go, after all, he was doing nothing wrong... but when he went to the doctor about his wrist, there was a communication difficulty with the foreign doctor who came in to attend to him. He couldn't understand the doctor, didn't know why the doctor wanted to talk about his missing leg when he was only there to have the tendon in his wrist looked at....
Eventually, he walked out of the hospital without getting the care he needed.

There is a saying that I love. "Be kinder than necessary. For everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." If we all just took a little time to remember that others may be struggling... with a little patience and understanding more people (not just vets, but everyone who needs patience and understanding) would be able to get more of what they need out of life.

On veterans day, I choose to remember the veterans who are away fighting, I choose to think about the veterans that are here still fighting for what they need, and I choose to remember everyone else, even the regular joe, who faces a daily battle in their own home country to meet their basic needs.

It's a tough world out there.
A little love goes a long way.

For this relief, much thanks...

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:16:22 GMT

As I was listening to the concession and acceptance speeches last night, I was moved to tears. McCain stood up and encouraged all Americans to get behind the our newly elected leaders, and Obama cautioned us that this was just the beginning. There will be a long, difficult road of many sacrifices ahead, but I believe that if we take the pains, we will be better for it.

It has been far to long that America has been a nation of slaves. A nation of mankind willing to sell themselves out for the little goodies that they want, or that they feel they need. A nation willing to live on credit for the promise of a better tomorrow.

How often is it that we are sick of the very things we've financed before we're finished paying for them, and we are exhausted from trying to work ourselves half to death to not only keep up with the Jones' but to pay a banker's office lease worth in interest while we do it! In the meantime we lose our most precious commodity, our health, while we sacrifice everything to battle against the fierce tides knowing that this "means to an end" this "just one more day" this "meantime" all too quickly becomes our whole lifetime.

How many of us are taking pills or energy drinks to stay awake during the day, and taking supplements, nightcaps, or sleep aids to get some rest at night? How many of us are eating fast food, not making time to exercise, and risking their health and well-being know they shouldn't be living like this, but they just need to get through "just one more day" or "just one more month." How many of us are already starting to rack up doctor's bills and monthly prescription costs to try and patch or repair the damage that we've done to ourselves? How long have we been doing this now? It seems like years. And it will continue for years more, unless we decide that it needs to end, and end today.

It is our addiction to our goodies and convenience and our willingness to finance these luxuries at any cost that has ruined this country. It is about time we pull up our bootstraps and stop living the extreme, and start living responsibly.

How many of us could afford a second mortgage with the amount we spend every month on credit card bills and repaying car and student loans? How many of us will pay over $200,000 for a mortgage on top of that for a house, when instead we could have found a house needing a little TLC for under $25,000, fixed it up from paycheck to paycheck thus doing our part to rehabilitate our part of a neighborhood and employ people in our community in the process?

If this election shows anything, it shows that we are beginning to open our eyes, see just a little down the road and fear the monster we have created. It shows that we are no longer willing to finance our mistakes at the cost of our nation, (http://www.opednews.com/articles/John-McCain-s-Presidential-by-Abigail-Adams-080930-961.html) or turn a blind eye and continue the problem. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26458400/)

I am happy to have a leader who will no longer turn a blind eye to irresponsibility and continue "business as usual." I am excited to be one of you, the recently unblinded. I am willing to work hard with all of you, stop financing, stop killing myself from day to day, and start living a responsible, healthy life.

For the first time in sixteen years, someone I voted for actually won the presidency. I welcome this change with open arms, and gloved, calloused hands.

Peace-out!

zombie throat!

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 06:46:21 GMT

Interesting day. Acted in the haunt at my work. The 'cee put together a special effects gore table for it, I teased out my green hair and played a zombie. I kept screaming and groaning as I was reaching for the people running through the haunt, and now I've got "zombie throat." It's pretty bad. If I swallow, my throat hurts like heck until I down my next cough drop. The next swallow calls subroutine 0 all over again.

I'm so glad I was where I was, and not elsewhere.... The person who played the surgeon at the gore table, brought sausage casings stuffed with liver and bread, and so the smell in that room with the gore table the 'cee and I made by the beginning of the night (not to mention at the end of the night) was too much for me. I'm so glad I was playing one of the zombies at the end, and not the poor girl who had to act as the live meat in the gore table. I'm not too keen on blood guts and gore. I just don't have the stomach for it. I much prefer the sci fi, medieval & rennaisance side of special effects, minus the spanish inquisition.

I've never done zombie makeup before, but after I did my makeup, I was asked to do the makeup for the other zombies as well. I mean... brown, black, white, red, green and sometimes blue. Mix it up so it looks like char, dead, and bruised. Use a bit of that waxy stuff for head wounds, scabs and scars. I'm an artist... kinda.... So I just did my best, winging it. Turns out I didn't do half-bad. At the end of the night, two of the local civil worker people asked me if I would do makeup for an EMT practice event. "KAY!" I mean, what the heck. It's for a good cause, right.... How much? Well, I'm new to all this. How about $20 and some soda? lol! I could use it to start a portfolio or something!

Anywho, I've been doing more thinking and I've decided that I'm going to continue to make ends meet, cut back as much as I can on unnecessary appointments, and aside from the bare basics, make fitness and singing my next priorities.

Fitness and singing.

Those are the two things I think I will make my priorities for the next four months.

Give me a couple days just to sleep on it. To be sure....

crunch!

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 05:54:00 GMT

So yeah, been working at the gym for like a month now. Also working temporary assignments whenever they are available, also still looking for programming jobs, and taking care of medical stuff, car stuff, etc. Oh, yeah, and I still have web orders to fill and deliver. I have roughly three appointments per day these days and I spend a lot of time feeling overwhelmed.

It's time I took a look at what I'm doing and why.

There are two schools of thought.
1. I want to get a programming job as soon as possible so that I have the money to have a good wedding, and fix the house, and everything I need.

2. Life has given me the opportunity to make ends meet for now, and I need to just cut out what is not important and spend this time being the turtle, deciding what I want to do, taking it slow, steady, rebuilding and relaxing.

The one thing I have going for me, is my brain. It's also the one thing I have going against me sometimes.

I can justify each side of the above argument so well, I set myself awhirl in a tizzy and end up not knowing what to do at all.

Then I settle for the only way to decide such things when all else is equal. In most cases I end up doing the best I can working both roads, and see what pans out....

Therein I become a reactionary person instead of a proactive person. I end up being someone that life happens to, instead of someone that makes things happen.

One could say that I could spend all the time I use to look for programming jobs and actually work towards a major goal with my singing, or art, or writing.... Again... One could argue both sides until ants have developed individualized intelligence, and invented a working time machine, traveled back in time and set up a giant magnifying glass to fry our primordial forms in our most vulnerable moments as we are crawling out of the ooze.

I need to finally decide what it is that I want, write it down, set a plan, and never waver. Ever notice tho, that once something is decided, the contrary road jumps out in front of you from behind the nearest joshua tree and bludgeons you upside the crown chakra with the all the possible whatifs and maybes? Like you just get set to move to Florida, and suddenly this great job that you've always wanted opens for you in your home town. Or you've just payed to go to a seminar, and someone invites you to a dinner on the same night. Or you're just start that diet for the 13th time, and it's birthday day at the office.

Oops, look at that, there's plenty of really good cake, just getting stale.

Well, that's life. That's how it happens.

I need to stop letting life happen to me, and honestly decide what I want and stick to it for a change. No matter which path I choose, I must not waiver, no matter if some great programming job comes up, or some great publicist comes along. No matter even if nothing is harvested from my chosen path for months.

This, kiddies, will be a rough one.

silly, neurotic me.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:24:39 GMT

Silly, neurotic me.
I wish I were out working on the haunt with the rest of the posse I like to call my friends. Instead, I worked today, then grabbed the 'cee and went to financial class, got home, cooked dinner, and here I am.

I'm feeling like I've missed out on all the fun; and I can't help but be paranoid thinking that people are saying things about me and my honey while we're not around. 'Course I do have some cause to feel this way... it's a habitual past time of people in the group to talk about each other. A few times I've caught myself getting all absorbed in the rumor mill while it was spinning at full force, and I've actually commented out loud, "oh, here we are, talking about people again."

I do my best to acknowledge it, and then remove myself whenever I realize it's going on. I try to, and I try not to be a hypocrite; but I am, after all, only human, right? Still: that would be my evidence that whenever I am not around they are all talking about ME too, but worrying like that is neurotic, isn't it? I should just look inside and realize that all I need for approval is me. Whatever anyone else says doesn't matter. I should feel that way, but it's pretty tough, ain't it?

Yes, I am neurotic. Sometimes (like now, when I'm trying to find my chapstick) the very noise of the contents of my purse clattering together while I am in a futile effort to find the item I am looking for in any reasonable increment of time (preferably under two minutes) sets my skin to crawling and my blood to boiling. And of course, why is the chapstick playing a game with me like this? Why are sharp, pointy items trying to stab me under my fingernails, give me cuts and mark up my hands like that? Who put all this inconvenient stuff in my purse in the first place? Didn't they know that the only thing I would want to find in my purse at 2:05 am is a simple small tube of mint flavored chapstick? *sigh* Yes, neurotic. I know. And I still have to live with myself.

I was feeling pretty good for a while there after my retreat. I felt finally, at peace, satisfied, calm, and content. And although I keep trying, I have not been able to attain that level of stressless existence since it disappeared altogether the day after I got home. And so I try to fill the void with the lowest common demonimator, (pun intended) business. Distractions. I turn myself into a habitually hapless human doing when I cannot find the werewithall to exist as a human being.

Tomorrow, I've got all day to get my butt to the gym. I can go for Yoga, then hit the weights, then do a bit of Zumba. Then I'm off to my connection group. If I p*ssy foot around and don't go to the gym, I will be terribly, awfully, even unhealthily angry at myself.

And now I'm off to try to calm down and get some peace by absorbing the mystical excretions of a calming bath bomb.

Wish me luck.